Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Cheeky girl

I must say I am finding mothering G very challenging at the moment. Since she turned about 2 and a half (six months ago) she has been so determined and disobedient it nearly drives me crazy. Of course, I understand this is a normal developmental stage and that she is learning to be her own little person and enjoy some independance but it is so wearing to have a battle every half an hour over brushing teeth, wearing appropriate clothes (ie not a strappy summer dress in the middle of winter), getting in to the car, jumping on the couch etc etc etc. I try REALLY hard not to smack her as I believe it is quite wrong to hurt children and only teaches them to hurt others but there have been several times this year that I have lost my temper and smacked her on the leg or bare bottom. then I feel sick and a bit of a failure. Yesterday, she repeatedly jumped and stepped all over her big sister who was trying to chill out and watch some kids' tv after a hard day in Grade 1. You can't ignore that sort of behaviour and I cannot physically pick her up and remove her from the situation for some time out because of a back injury. I guess I'll just have to hold her calmly on my lap and talk to her instead.

This morning she was playing quietly in the playroom so I thought I'd sneak on to the computer for a few minutes. Suddenly, I looked at what she was doing. She had cut up a beautiful drawing that E had done at school for her Dad for Father's Day. I was so shocked (thinking of what E's reaction would be) that I just said "Oh Greta....oh Greta" over and over in a horrified tone of voice. That made the little thing cry and cry as she realised she had done something pretty naughty. So I gave her a big cuddle and said "You can't cut up E's pictures. We'll have to stick it back together with sticky tape". I guess the moral of the story is that I shouldn't be blogging and not supervising G. but I honestly cannot watch her like a hawk from dawn to dusk.

Similarly, we had a visiting child recently who was happily playing outside with my two girls. I was getting their dinner ready and cleaning up the house and checking on them every so often. Each time I went outside, they had found something else naughty to do like tormenting the dog, squishing red berries on the trampoline and throwing them everywhere etc. I guess not that naughty really. But I wondered at what age you can actually let your children have some freedom outside in the fresh air in the yard while you do the housework or whatever. What do you do? Am I being slack? All just normal children's behaviour, I guess, so not worth getting myself into a lather over.

Now that I have typed that all out, I feel I am raving on about nothing much. It does all seem a bit inconsequential, but I feel better for venting so thanks for listening. (I've already run similar stuff by Tammie and it's good to know that other mothers have these days too).

Edited 2pm - Just to add a more positive note. After writing that post, G and I went to our local shopping centre to buy chicken for dinner and bank the contents of her piggybank. She was such a good little girl that I felt ashamed of complaining. She drew quietly on the deposit slips while the teller counted the money and we sat at a table and had a sushi roll each for lunch instead of her sitting in the stroller eating it while I race around doing the shopping. She's getting too big for stroller anyway. Then she posted a letter in the letterbox on the way back to the car, standing on my knee to reach the slot. The lovely thing was that two separate elderley passersby who came to post their letters, gave them to G to post to make her feel special. Aren't people kind?


beck said...

I really enjoyed reading this post Hester. It's good you can talk about the frustrations of raising children. It's HARD! Yep-a-roony. I found my Rosie very challenging for a while there and she still has her moments but now at four she can understand so much more & is more rational about things (most of the time). For about a year she insisted on wearing bathers, even in winter. In the end I gave her the choice of not wearing them or putting warm clothes underneath. Yes, it was a look, but she was happy and the rest of us got used to her eccentric otufits. So I guess you need to pick your battles! Hang in there, it sounds like you are anyway. I love the way you see the bright side of life and appreciate the little things like the kind people at the letterbox. Take care xo

Tammie said...

i totally agree with beck, as im sure you already know. choose your battles.

and i truly believe you can't watch your kids all the time and you shouldn't feel guilty about using the computer or whatever you want to do for a few moments of mommy time. as much as it stinks right now for you, because you feel you have to get on to her, Greta needs to learn that you cant be looking over her shoulder all the time making sure shes making good decisions---she has to learn to do it herself.

of course, im no expert and my four year old is still a handful, although she's slowly getting better. but i know what you mean. out of my two kids, shes my problem child. and like G, she isnt really naughty---just a handful, she wants to do things her way and everything is a debate. i cant say anything without her having a differing opinion about it. she's a sweet girl, but right now, mothering her is EXHAUSTING!

hester said...

Thanks guys! I nearly deleted this post as I felt a bit embarrassed about it, but decided that it's good to have a blog that is warts and all, rather than edited to reflect only the adorable moments.

Thanks again for listening.